have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Randomize
