Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
