All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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