Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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