If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
