where does the pee come out of this thing
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Randomize
