this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
