But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
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