Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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