I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I just forgot I was standing up.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
