P.S. I can't hear my feet
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
And then he peed in my hair
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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