Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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