You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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