I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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