that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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