If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
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