i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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