Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
