so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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