I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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