Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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