Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
