Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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