i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
