its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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