hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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