Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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