Nicole vs. Life
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
