i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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