At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
