You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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