you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
