Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
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