How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize