Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize