I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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