GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
