We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
