I think I am morally bankrupt
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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