booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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