Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I enjoy the company of your penis
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
