I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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