if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
