dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I am naked and annoyed.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
