its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize