Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
