Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard