Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.