What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
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Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
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I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
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