Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
the liver wants what the liver wants
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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