Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
