We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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