Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
