Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
