You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I want to fling myself into the sun
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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