I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
