i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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