I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
