I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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