So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
You are a booty call, not a friend.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
