I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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