he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
