Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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