normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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